Score: 10

"Perfection"

submission: AngryIceSkaters

date: May 29, 2004

You give yourself far too little credit for this movie.

/me votes feiv

Score: 10

"Oh god yes!"

submission: Banana Phone 2

date: May 27, 2004

Turd of the week.

TURD OF THE WEEK?

This is art in its most incomprehensible form. I guess all of you giving it 0's just don't appreciate this sort of art. You all think you're so great with your Leonardo Divinci, but this flash is exponentially greater than all his works combined. You just don't understand it, so let me explain it for you.

Notice that each character has a black square around them. No, this is not due to he animator being lazy, it's an in-depth description of his inner soul. The simple dialogue of "sup, dude?" represents all that is good in the world, where as the antagonist says "Wazzaaaaaaa." Which represents an opposite force.

These two forces balance eachother out, causing a stream of bloody ferret pigs to fly out of the guy sitting on the couch. in other words, when all is balanced, there is nothing but chaos and blood everywhere. These ferret pigs are neither good or bad, but merely neutral. They are the devices which god himself developed to keep the order, and once all is neither good or bad, they emerge from the heads of random people laying on a couch, and continue their holy crusade.

Turd of the week? You people sicken me. lolomgwtfvote5.

Score: 9

"It's an extravaganza!"

submission: Never B Your Woman

date: May 20, 2004

OMG IT HAS CLOKCS IN IT LOL VOTE 0!

I hate you all.

Good flash. You can never go wrong with a collaboration of already good animators. Yes, they're clocks. Yes, I know you hate clocks becuase everybody else does, and you're going to jump on the bandwagon and give this a 0. There are clocks that are good animators, and they don't deserve getting a 0 on their work.

I always find it hard to give a score on movies that are a compilation of shorts from different animators, but I'll say that the graphics were good. Hatterclock even got greedy and put in 2 animations. Each one had its own style of animation, and they were all brilliant.

Good choice of song. I've usually found that most music videos that are submitted are based around some whiney bitchy punk band like Good Charolette, but I actually liked the song in this one, and I'm going to go buy the CD. And by "buy the CD," I mean I'm going to download it off the internet.

Anyways, it's 5 worthy. I don't care how much all you little prats hate clocks for no reason, it doesn't deserve a 0. It has good animation, good sound, and lots of talented artists. Vote 5 dammit.

Score: 4

"kthx."

submission: Free Mars

date: May 5, 2004

Well, congratulations on choosing the most infuriating music I have heard so far in any flash movie to hit the front page. Did you really think it was a good idea to set an intensely aggrivating 1 second loop of music which doesn't change throughout the entire game? (whenever the hell it ends) You get a 0 for sound, for the sole purpose that I can't go into negative review scores.

The graphics were nothing special at all. Just a sprite floating around with a desert background that loops over and over, killing an infinite number of flying clones that have about the same chance of hitting me as I do of winning the lottery. Occasionally some guy in a grey suit will come along and shoot at you, followed by a hangglider and a guy piloting a giant flying laser beam.

I killed the soldiers about 900 times, and with little to no effort dispatched of the other two. Then after the same repetitive gameplay for about 5 minutes, a giant plane decided to show up, and I'll give you credit that it was well drawn. Once I killed that and realised that it was just going to be the same thing over for another 5 minutes, I closed the game. I simply could not tolerate playing it any more.

Overall, I don't know why this hit the front page. It's just an average fly around and shoot stuff game, and nothing at all stands out, apart from the appalingly bad music you chose.

Score: 9

"gaspness"

submission: FF: Warfare 7

date: May 3, 2004

You make flash movies?

/me learns something

Anyways, good flash. There are surely going to be a number of imbeciles that insist that making sprite movies takes little to no efforet, despite that they have never even tried to make any sort of movie themselves. People don't realize the amount of effort that it takes to create something as long as this movie, let alone make it high quality.

The graphics were superb, although at times my computer wasn't able to handle them without immense slowdown (fading in and out) and the custom made sprites looked good. Good use of blending together different characters from the Final Fantasies and making sprites of FF7 characters (sephiroth and Aeris)

The sound was great. The music was well incorporated into the movie, with the battle music every time the characters were dueling (for whatever reason, I'm sure the plot will reveal a bit more in the later installment) and the sound effects were always on cue whenever somebody got attacked.

Front page worthy indeed. Not many sprite movies are as well made as this. I just need to figure out what the hell is supposed to be happening. All it seems to be is a bunch of characters killing eachother for no apparent reason other than to win the tournament. I'll just have to wait for the next one.

4.5/5

Score: 10

"OGMGMG!!1!!!"

submission: ttttttttttttttteh

date: May 2, 2004

Best flash EVAR!1!

FIFEN!

Score: 6

"dammit."

submission: FOAMY: Fat-kins DIet

date: April 7, 2004

Once again, the same exact flash. A background. a squirrel bitching about some random topic, and nothing else. And once again, it has a score above 3.50

I was hoping to see more from you this time, since in the last one you did you actually decided to do some more work by actually animating the people that were sitting at the table. No such luck for this one however. Still just a pre-drawn squirrel motion tweening around the screen.

At least the sound is still good. That's basically the one thing I find redeeming in all of your flashes. Your sound is never muffled, never gritty, and the effects you use to make Foamies voice are decent. Too bad that's the only thing good about your flashes.

Before all you cult followers bitch about me giving this movie a 6, try this. Turn off the sound, and see how entertaining this flash is. Chances are you're not going to find anything terribly interesting. Just a squirrel shaking his arms around. This shows that illwillpress doesn't actually take much time to make his flash animations. Real work is usually put into the graphics of a flash, and since he doesn't work hard on that, he doesn't deserve a high score.

You have 47 portal awards. You do not deserve 47 portal awards. You should have about 3 at most, and those should be somewhere around 3rd place daily. Unfortunately, you have a cult following that will vote 5 on all your movies regardless of the content or effort. Not to mention that they have some of the worst reviews imaginable. "LOL FOAMY IS MY LORD AND MASTER!!!11!" Brilliant. Howeve, as I read over the reviews for this particular movie of yours, I see that your average review score is less than a 7, which shows that maybe some people are realising that your movies aren't that great. Too bad most of them are still idiots giving you zeroes. Your movies aren't great, but they don't deserve zeroes.

I'm still waiting to see some improvement on your part. The last one had decent animation, and this one does not. It's as simple as that. Sound is the only thing keeping your movies alive, and nothing more. Humor wise, it's decent. Still not terribly funny though. But at least it brings hits to the site with all the level 1 users that pour in to say how great you are at everything, then proceed to buy your 100 dollar DVDs on Ebay.com. Do you really think tat it's reasonable to sell a DVD of crap for 100 dollars? I think not.

I vote 3 anyway. I hope that you attempt to improve on your movies, even though it appears that you have no intent of doing so, but you don't actually read reviews, so you won't take advice from people who offer tips.

Score: 10

"Brilliant."

submission: Bitey of Brackenwood

date: March 29, 2004

I saw this movie, and loved every aspect of it, and added it to my favorites list.

I like the way you look at the delightful flah program. You see it as something to express yourself with, and make wonderful movies with. I looked at my trial version and thought "crap."

In other words, I have no flash skill at all. You, on the other hand, have far more then just about any artist I have seen on NG. The graphics in this were just brilliant. It had a wonderful frame rate, everything was drawn skillfully, and with great detail, and the movement stayed fluent throughout the entire flash. I especially liked the fat yellow creature, which i swear I have seen somewhere before. I just can't remember where.

The sound was also great. The music did a terrific job of capturing the fairy tale-like mood you were going for. Not to mention that every sound effect was on cue. Just hearing the strange sound that occurs whenever the yellow thing meanders along, with the greatest movement ever.

I'm glad to see that this has a very high score. It's at 4.37 right now,and I feel it deserves no less. I might even go so far as to say this is good enough to reach the #1 spot on the top 50 of all times list. Even if it doesn't have any awards (so far) at least you get front page recognition for this magnificent flash.

I really hope that you continue animating. You are brilliant, and should keep up at your natural talent. Not very many people have a talent with flash, but every once in awhile something like this comes along and puts rather a lot of the so called "top animators," like Legendary Frog to shame. Too bad you don't have a cult following like him.

*votes 5*

Score: 10

"More Matrix!"

submission: The Matrix Has You.

date: March 28, 2004

I think it would be rather pointless to give an overall score for this flash, since there were so many different ones in it, so I will write a breif review for each one.

There Is No Spoon - 8/10

I liked this one. I always thought that it was good how you draw your characters with giant eyes. The graphics in this one were good as always, and the voice acting was well done. I always marvel at the people who take the quote "ther is no spoon" seriously, and am glad to see that you're not one of them.

Chateau - 10/10

Probably my favorite of all the flashes in the collection. The graphics were the best of all the movies, and it even had a cameo appearance from Astaroth, who runs of crying when he gets flicked in the face by Neo. Didn't see that one coming.

Zion Rave - 9/10

This one was interesting. Starts out as Morpheus ranting about nothing like he always done, then moves on to a bunch of random sprites dancing around, including the dancing banana.

Then you decide to move on to somehting completely different, which would be you wandering around, while doing random things that sort of have something to do with the Matrix.

Burly Brawl - 10/10

My second favorite one. Great graphics, just like Chateau, and great sound just like everything else. I especially like the part where he goes to pull the pipe out of the ground, despite there being a barrel of pipes right next to him.

The Architect - 8/10

I didn't really like this one as much as the others. The graphics and sound were good, but I didn't really find it that funny. Maybe it's just me, but seeing Neo stand there and pull the string on a doll for awhile isn't really that appealing to me.

Final Fight - 10/10

3rd best graphics out of all of them, and probably the funniest. I don't think I understood it too well, seeing as I haven't actually seen The Matrix: Revolutions, but I assume that there were a bunch of Smiths standing around doing nothing, and that you decided to make fun of it. I enjoyed it anyway though.

Now you get to sit there and wait to see how many portal awards you rack up, and how many assclowns spam it with reviews advertising their sites when it arrives on the front page. You also get to see it rise up into high ranks in the top 50, along with all your other flashes.

You are all the winners.

</really long review>

Score: 10

"Pudding"

submission: Super Mario Reloaded

date: March 27, 2004

Wow. This was amazing. And I mean amazing. This is definetely one of the best flashes I have EVER seen on NG. I'm talking favorite submissions good.

So you actually made 3000 different sprites yourself to make this? Now that's what I call commitment. This must have taken you forever, and I think that it deserves a lot more than just a daily feature. Somewhere around the amount of awards each Xombie installment has.

Probably one of the longest movies I have ever seen. Not longer then the Demented Cartoon Movie, but that doesn't really count. I was expecting it to be cut off part way through, but it never happened. It actually kept going until that entire part of the Matrix was done, with a bit thrown on at the end as well.

The graphics are great. The animation wasn't chunky at all, everything moved fluently throughout the entire thing, even at the end when every one of those Luigis were flying into the air. Somehow you still managed to keep everything going at the same rate that it was before. I especially like the whole Matrix kick part where you decided to change them into the character models from Super Smash Brothers.

The sound was also great. It never sounded crappy at any parts, never sputtered or sounded muffled, and that was probably hard to get into this flash without sending it over the file size limit. Not to mention that every sound effect in the entire move was well placed, never off cue, exept in my movie becuase my computer is slow, but I can just pause it and start it again.

Let me say that I don't usually enjoy Matrix spoofs very much. I fell that they are pretty overdone, and most of them turn out to be pretty shoddy work with very little effort put into them at all. For this one however, I will make an exeption, and rank it in my book as the best damn Matrix flash movie ever made. It even has cameo appearances from Sonic, Link, and Samus!

Now I vote 5, and everyone else should too. Not 4 dammit. 5. It deserves no less, and should be ranked high up in the top 50 of all time.

Ugh.....end review.