Score: 0

"Redefining what can be considered uninteresting."

submission: WoW: When Gnomes Fly

date: May 30, 2006

It's been quite a long time since you've produced anything to submit to Newgrounds. Long enough that I actually wondered where you'd disappeared to at one point, and came to the conclusion that you must have been improving on that same repetitive design that you use in all your Flashes. Trying something with a hint of originality for once, improving on you animation techniques, perhaps. Unfortunately this is not true. This is the first thing you've ever submitted where I was actually expecting a decent result, instead of when you were churning out this stuff on a regular basis and I already knew it would be garbage before I watched it. You have let me down once again this time, since apparently all that time you've spent away from making movies was not spent trying to improve them in any way. You come back after your hiatus and submit the same cookie-cutter, video game based, motion tweened dreck with failed attempts at humor, just like every other movie you've made in the past few years.

Nothing of your animation has been improved upon. Even the fans of your work I've talked to will admit that your movies aren't even remotely humorous, almost at the level of the degenerate garbage that Wonchop comes up with, say that the only reason your movies are even notable is because of your fine ability to animate them, despite a lack of content. I would say this is misguided. You're one of the few animators I know that has not moved past the comfortable ground of using nothing but motion tweens, never having to exert any effort to produce quality content, since you know most people can't tell the difference. What you make is hardly animation. Taking an arm or leg and telling Flash to move it from point A to point B is not a difficult thing to do, and you've been doing it for so long that I'm surprised that it took you so long to create this. It's not like there's any breathtaking scenery or artwork that you spent all that time drawing, just generic parts for your characters and maybe a poorly drawn castle and some mountains in the background.

Your voicework is noticably bad. Usually I don't notice or care if the voice acting is terrible, but it really stood out here. Something that's never worked well for any animator is making their main character have an intolerably aggravating voice, and it doesn't work here either. High pitched and nasal-sounding isn't something to aspire for in character design, regardless of physical characteristics or personality. The viewer has to be able to tolerate listening to what he's watching in order for him to give it fair judgement, pissing him off the entire time tends to have a negative effect. Same goes for every other voice in this as well. Poorly carried out vitriolic tone of voice for your "rebel" girl, poorly carried out Jamaican accent for what I guess was an orc, and poorly carried out stereotypical gay person voice at the end.

The thing is, none of that really matters to me. I can see past all that if you have a good plot for the whole thing, but that's where this really fails. You went through your usual brainstorming session with your base of "Hey, I'll make a Flash about a video game!" then for some reason decided "It will be about a really annoying gnome, who makes fun of some orcs, then jetpacks over a mountain." Take that plot line, add the worst comedy available to man, and you come up with this. An incredibly bland, unpleasant Flash.

Actually improve on something for once. Making the same movie over and over again is the same crap that illwillpress pulls, and that's not something to aspire to. Make something not based off a video game, or if you're going to, at least get someone else to write the script for you, and get some decent voice actors.

Score: 0

"Absolutely fantastic."

submission: : KoShEr Crackers :

date: April 6, 2006

After being pathetic and deleting all the flashes that tarnished your precious record, I figured you might have come to the conclusion that what you've been making is crap, and that you should make something decent for once. I guess not, unless you consider your amazing scene transition to be an incredible improvement on your series. Almost as great as an improvement as naming them like you're an 8 year old girl on GaiaOnline. Using alternating caps and meaningless characters on each end of your titles doesn't make then more appealing to watch.

I suppose you at least did something new this time, with the fade to black scene transition, but drawing another background (or tracing it, in your case) doesn't exactly count as effort. Whatever, the main problem with this one is the sound. At least it was possible to decipher what Foamy was saying, but I couldn't understand your Pillz-E character about half the time. I suggest either scrapping him entirely or changing his voice if you intend to use him in future installments.

Score: 10

"Another masterpiece"

submission: Bankomat

date: January 21, 2006

The next fine installment from the Flash artist who owns all the top positions in my favorites list. I must say, I consider this to be even better than Objectionable Apparatus, and rather close to being better than Pustota. It's good to be able to watch your favorite artists evolve in their Flash making techniques through the years.

Graphics - Even without bothering to analyze the Flash itself, there is no doubt that this Flash is one of the best animated ones I've seen on this site. Even with people like Adam Phillips posting his movies on this site, there's still nobody who can work so well with nothing but black, white, and one or two other colours. The scene transitions used in this are as good if not better than in Objectionable Apparatus, and are becoming one of the main reasons why I consider your animation technique to be so far beyond that of the regular submission. There is no simple "fade to black, move on to the next scene," everything is planned out so that it all looks like one consistent movie.

Style - There is, quite simply, no equal to your style. Most Flashes had a direct message or plot, yet you and only a few others create things that actually cause you to question what you just saw. Though this one is a bit more simple to understand than your other works, I still had to watch it a few times to come up with my own final idea of its meaning. The only problematic thing about creating such a Flash is that so many people don't feel like analyzing it, and are content to post their reviews as something along the lines of "The graphics were good, but I had no idea what was going on." Or the always popular "What drugs were you on when you made this?"

Sound - The only real problem I've ever had with any of your Flashes is that I don't particularly enjoy the music (The horrible screeching in Solaris, for example). Fortunately, I actually enjoyed the music in this one. It sets the tone of the film perfectly, and I've actually had it going through my head occasionally when I'm not watching this. This essentially leaves me without any "flaws" whatsoever for me to point out in this Flash.

There's very little chance that anyone will ever replace you as my favorite artist on this site. There are plenty of Flashes submitted each day that could be considered "good," or even "great," but they usually follow the same format, leading them to be repetitive after a while. There will only be one Kol Flash, something so excellent and different from the masses that I don't even need to give it a second thought after putting it in my favorites list, except which one goes ahead of the other. It's a shame that there are so many people that don't bother to find the meaning in this. I'm not one to say for certain what it means, but coming up with your own meaning makes this so much more enjoyable.

Perfect score in all meaningful ways, since violence, interactivity, and humor are meaningless ways to rate something like this.

Score: 0

"Perhaps your worst Flash yet."

submission: Exotic Chocolates

date: January 3, 2006

Though that's a difficult decision between this and "Lewd Lingerie." Yet people still hail you as an excellent Flash artist, and there's only one possible reason for this, that being your previous reputation. Unfortunately for you, this reputation is beginning to fail on you, since however terrible your previous works have been, your new turn into completely idiodic sexual humour seems to be steadily decreasing your fanbase. A quick glance through the last few pages of reviews shows that even some of your long-time fans are beginning to question the "quality" of your works. A possibility for this is because you've resorted to making flashes about drinking semen.

Other evidence of your whoring out the Neurotically Yours characters can be done with a simple comparison between their first designs and the current ones. One of your desperate attempts at raising your fan base seems to be steadily increasing the size of Germaine's breasts, since you already know how much your idiot fans adore her. It's done a good enough job as well, since they're distracted enough that they don't bother to realize that the Flash they just watched was nothing more than an array of motion tweens and poorly thought out attempts at humour.

There's still no real animation in your Flashes either, perhaps the most aggrivating part of your series. You've had your account on Newgrounds for 3 years now, and it doesn't look like you've made any attempt whatsoever at becoming a better Flash artist. You're content to create the same crappy cartoon countless times knowing that you'll most likely get a portal award, front page, and a new wave of fans that will review your flashes from that point on with 10's and claim that a cartoon squirrel is their god.

Terrible shame that, as you might be able to make something worthwhile if you actually put some effort into what you create. In the meantime, I'll still consider everything you make to be utter garbage, you'll still keep making the same thing, and people at Hot Topic will still buy your shirts nd laugh at an unfunny BBS post in Flash format.

Score: 10

"Best game ever."

submission: Wade vs The StarSyndicate

date: November 3, 2005

Yes.

Score: 10

"."

submission: WRYYYYYY

date: October 19, 2005

Win.

Score: 10

"HAHAHAHA"

submission: linkin prk kem 2 my house

date: September 11, 2005

I love whichever admin put this on the front page.

Score: 0

"Wow."

submission: Foamy: Hurricane Special

date: August 30, 2005

3.60 for a still image set to a sound file of you stating the obvious with the pitch turned up.

Score: 10

"Exceptional, once again."

submission: Autumn Tree

date: August 4, 2005

When you first sent me the unfinished first half of by AIM I knew that it would end up as good as this. Good to see that it's finally finished so that I can add it to my favorites list.

Though I haven't actually seen "Elephant," I assume it is as good as this is. A look into what actually happened before the Columbine incident that makes you somewhat sympathise with the shooters. It ets you know what they might have actually been thinking before they made the decision, and the faults of the other people that led to the event. Though it may not be fair to place the blame on the other students for the massacre as he did in the movie, it gives everyone a lesson on what might happen to the intolerant.

Your artwork remains as good as ever if not improved. Hand drawn animation that took over 6 moths if I remember what you said correctly. All colorfully drawn character sprites and backgrounds add to the realistic feel of the movie and add more style to the animation than the vast majority of the flashes I've seen on this site. All the environments and backgrounds are drawn great, and the angles used in the drawings are used in a way that make it look even better. Definately one of the best animated flashes I've seen in a long time.

All the music you used fits perfectly and the voice acting is great. It seems as though a lot of planning and consideration went into it to keep the overall feel of the move the way you wanted it. All the writing done in a way that one would think the columbine shooters would say it along with what the other students would think as well.

Front page worthy as well as favorites list worthy. I hope to see something this good in your next flash as well.

Score: 10

"Good fun"

submission: old wink game thing

date: May 15, 2005

After playing though the game once normally (And let me say that you have done a damn good job of making this game since I've seen what you intended it to be) I decided to have some fun and see how much I could mess up the game before it became completely unplayable. Although this obviously wasn't your intention, it's rather a lot of fun. Sort of like how Halo is fun when you figure out all the things that the programmers missed.

I found that the first trick is to hide a lot. When I did it once, doing it a second time would cause me to switch to the icon of being stuck to the roof, and I would continue to rise upwards at a steady rate, going through whichever solid objects I felt like. After accelerating at unreasonable speeds through the walls, I eventually got to the boss,and decided to go through the roof. The roof is still perfectly tangible like all the other surfaces in the game, so it's easy enough to run around on it, and it almost seems like it was textured to be run on as well.

There was only one guard on the roof, and I'm not sure if he was put there as another test or if it was just another glich, but I strangled him and took his lightning staff, so I had it earlier than I was supposed to. I ran from the roof back to the beginning of the game and waited for the fire staff guard to open the door, from which point I got to see the real game.

Let me say that you did a brilliant job on the graphics. Although they seem simplistic, all the different animations move with great fluidity, and the running jump seems particularly good to me.

The controls didn't really "feel right" at first, and I kept throwing my staff away instead of shooting it, but I eventually got used to them. The only thing I had to stop doing was trying to hide (But you'll probably try to fix that).

So I just made my way through the game normally, which proved to be one of the best games I've played on this site once you get the hang of it. Once I saw that you hadn't put the boss in the game yet (all the glitches must be killing you), it might be a good thing since you've already pretty much pushed Flash past its limit. Oh well, I was content with "hiding" and running off the right side of the roof into an endless white abyss.

Good stuff.