boss trombone: I don't like your essay
boss trombone: fuck you
boss trombone: your shit is supposed to together
boss trombone: now I feel lost
boss trombone: you were my role model
RabidKangaroo15: Question everything, always
RabidKangaroo15: Is what you take out of that
RabidKangaroo15: It could be summarized with the sentence "I need to read more instead of wasting my damn time with bullshit"
RabidKangaroo15: Which after feeling the need to write that, I did
RabidKangaroo15: 200 pages read of Food of the Gods in four days
RabidKangaroo15: Along with a trip to Borders for when I'm done with that
RabidKangaroo15: I made it my new hobby by force
boss trombone: Why?
boss trombone: I don't get your motivations
RabidKangaroo15: Because I figure it's more important than the average recreational activity
RabidKangaroo15: Especially given my choice to engage in the drug culture
RabidKangaroo15: I should understand its roots
RabidKangaroo15: As well as intended purpose
RabidKangaroo15: Beyond the "You should do this acid, it will be cool"
RabidKangaroo15: Followed by the most unpleasant experience humanly possible
boss trombone: Who defines a drug's purpose?
RabidKangaroo15: Ancient tribes that did it for thousands of years and perfected the art of shamnism and symbiotic natural relationship
RabidKangaroo15: Not to say that it doesn't withstand analysis from anyone else
RabidKangaroo15: But I think it is of extreme importance if you're going to take the drug to know what it's used for
RabidKangaroo15: Which in essence is a sort of
RabidKangaroo15: mental medicine
boss trombone: How do you still enjoy stuff like video games when you realize it's pointless bullshit, and you want to connect with nature
boss trombone: I find it impossible for someone to live a spiritual life or something
boss trombone: and still be with society
RabidKangaroo15: Which can be aided as normal
RabidKangaroo15: By not taking society seriously
RabidKangaroo15: I exist within its framework by happenstance, not any rel choice
boss trombone: You just said you want to apply to a good college and get a better life or whatever
boss trombone: in your essay
RabidKangaroo15: The pursuit of knowledge takes many forms
RabidKangaroo15: What I really seek is not really the total destruction of the dominator society
RabidKangaroo15: But more a transformation
RabidKangaroo15: Which in some ways is happening in terms of the whole Green Movement
RabidKangaroo15: Not to any significant degree in terms of social norms, but at least people seem to be coming to terms with the fact that we're completely destroying the planet
boss trombone: RabidKangaroo15: The pursuit of knowledge takes many forms
boss trombone: ?
boss trombone: Knowledge for what?
boss trombone: How is that important if you want to live a spirtual life
RabidKangaroo15: The two are separate issues
RabidKangaroo15: But they in no way prevent one another
RabidKangaroo15: The main point is
RabidKangaroo15: Things like video games happen to be repetitive, though they're fun to a degree
RabidKangaroo15: You don't really gain anything from them, but when spare time allows it's not something to scorn completely
RabidKangaroo15: It's just that a life of nothing but that
RabidKangaroo15: And no learning of anything
RabidKangaroo15: Seems sort of sedentary
boss trombone: If you're not making an impact with what you learned then what's the point?
boss trombone: If being happy is just chemicals in your brain
boss trombone: then why even bother
RabidKangaroo15: The important drugs aren't about being happy
RabidKangaroo15: Euphoria is not the point of mushrooms or acid or DMT
RabidKangaroo15: Aldous Huxley defined the brain as an instrument to narrow reality into recognizable structures
RabidKangaroo15: The main point of psychedelics is to deny the brain its intended function
RabidKangaroo15: And to experience the world in its true essence without any of the mental protection barriers
RabidKangaroo15: The raw experience of data is not necessarily pleasant
RabidKangaroo15: As for learning being pointless
RabidKangaroo15: For one thing self-improvement doesn't have much of a connection to other people
RabidKangaroo15: Thus changing things
RabidKangaroo15: Though you can't teach anyone the errors of their ways if you don't know what's right
RabidKangaroo15: So even though changing the world isn't necessarily the primary goal of education for me, it doesn't hurt the cause either
RabidKangaroo15: There's no downside to making yourself smart
RabidKangaroo15: Remaining ignorant is another matter
boss trombone: I don't really like this
boss trombone: ignorance is way better
RabidKangaroo15: How so
boss trombone: Well
boss trombone: I could have fun with out worrying about things having a point
RabidKangaroo15: Fun is trivial
RabidKangaroo15: It has no weight behind it
RabidKangaroo15: Eat lead paint chips if you want to be ignorant of the world around you, but there are better things to eat if you want some sort of understanding
RabidKangaroo15: Fun doesn't extend any further than immediate self-gratification
boss trombone: You're not aware of that if you're ignorant
boss trombone: I'm kealous of people that get happy when they land a new job or have a baby and they are so happy about it
boss trombone: I'm never going to have that
boss trombone: j
boss trombone: the feeling they do
RabidKangaroo15: The feeling of elation from landing a new job tends to be transient anyway and usually dissolves once they actually start it
RabidKangaroo15: Unless you can find a job that's actually worthwhile
RabidKangaroo15: Which is statistically unlikely
boss trombone: I mean
boss trombone: Even if you get a job where you make $50 an hour
boss trombone: Money doesn'tm atter to me anymore
boss trombone: I don't want a job
RabidKangaroo15: Job is just a matter of survival
RabidKangaroo15: Thus the pay is somewhat insignificant
RabidKangaroo15: All you really need is enough to meet the conditions of basic survival, but it's the nature of the job that matters
RabidKangaroo15: Say I offer you a job to sit on an assembly line and screw bolts into their assigned slots for $70/hr
RabidKangaroo15: Or I give you a job doing something you find interesting and conductive to self-improvement, but pay you $35/hr
RabidKangaroo15: Which do you go for?
boss trombone: interesting of course..
boss trombone: who owuldn't.
boss trombone: would
RabidKangaroo15: Exactly
RabidKangaroo15: It's not a money game
RabidKangaroo15: It usually just happens to be that people don't have that choice
RabidKangaroo15: And that's largely a cultural thing if you look at it
RabidKangaroo15: Chomsky has referred to it as "wage slavery"
RabidKangaroo15: By any objective standards you're owned by whoever runs your company
RabidKangaroo15: To them you're nothing more than a tool used to increase their wealth
RabidKangaroo15: Terrence McKenna in the book I'm reading always refers to it as the "dominator culture" which is the perfect term for it
RabidKangaroo15: And the most pathetic thing about it is that nobody actually wins
RabidKangaroo15: It's just a stupid game of numbers and trivial bullshit
RabidKangaroo15: The goal is to make a billion dollars and to buy a bunch of crap you neither want nor need just for the sake of an ego boost
RabidKangaroo15: He argues that it's this persistent ego of the patriarchal society that's the cause of just about every problem today
RabidKangaroo15: Not to say that he's somehow some militant feminist
RabidKangaroo15: But any true notion of a partnership has been lost for thousands of years
boss trombone: Exactly, so how can you live a happy life knowing that the point of anything you do (school to get a better job, etc) is to get more money.
RabidKangaroo15: Because that's not the point of it
RabidKangaroo15: I don't give a shit how much money I earn in life
RabidKangaroo15: That is not the goal, the goal is sort of a community effort
RabidKangaroo15: One reason I feel the need to be knowledgeable about things is so that I can pass that on
RabidKangaroo15: The dominator society arises from a sort of bestial nature
RabidKangaroo15: In an analytic light, the ideas of diplomacy and leadership that we show in Western civilization are so barbaric that it's almost laughable
RabidKangaroo15: And historically it seems like this has always been the case because we never bother to look back far enough
RabidKangaroo15: To most people civilization started with Rome and before that there's just a big blank period
RabidKangaroo15: There were living conditions thousands of years before that that were far more desirable than anything we have now
RabidKangaroo15: Where people lived in tribes in harmony, with a strong sense of community and partnership, as well as a deep connection with nature
RabidKangaroo15: Something reminiscent of the descriptions of Eden, in some way
RabidKangaroo15: Only without the pestilence of a God that abhors the quest for learning and becomes enraged at Adam and Eve eating from the tree of knowledge
RabidKangaroo15: We still look at that as a sin, strangely enough
RabidKangaroo15: Seven thousand years or so ago the religion, if you could call it that, didn't extend much further than the idea of a male-femal partnership as forming a whole, as well as the worship of the mother goddess
RabidKangaroo15: Now we have a religion that degrades women in just about every way and trivializes their role
RabidKangaroo15: A God that has no sense of femininity
RabidKangaroo15: He has no mother, no sister, no daughter
RabidKangaroo15: And anyone who would claim the importance of women in society is either a faggot or a woman
RabidKangaroo15: And something to be looked down on
RabidKangaroo15: Because apparently men are all that matter
RabidKangaroo15: As for his argument of the importance of drugs in influencing this behavior,
RabidKangaroo15: Things like mushrooms shatter conceptions such as this
RabidKangaroo15: They serve to deconstruct the entire world view and build it over from scratch with new inherent natural truths
RabidKangaroo15: The reason they have no place in our society, and the reason they've even been outlawed, is because they challenge the very fabric of our being withing the Western patriarchal society
RabidKangaroo15: Marijuana causes a lack of competition and less desire to give importance to "manliness"
RabidKangaroo15: Mushrooms shatter things even farther
RabidKangaroo15: And something like DMT goes so far as to remove you from this world entirely and let you experience the truest nature of the universe without filters or interruption from the percieved normal world
RabidKangaroo15: So it is in this manner that defiance of the social structure is in fact a necessity
RabidKangaroo15: The reason the two story house, six figure job, fast car model of life seems meaningless, and the reason it seems so hard to find significant is because there's no real way to do so
RabidKangaroo15: It falls in absolute defiance of any human nature
RabidKangaroo15: And serves only to perpetuate that which is wrong by any standard of decency, and from a political role is little more than a way of farming the next generation of workers to create a utopian landscape for the masters of society
RabidKangaroo15: Not that that's any better for them either
RabidKangaroo15: It's just the same thing we get with more gizmos and less effort
RabidKangaroo15: But their supposed intelligence extends no further than business models and an unwavering feeling that they're the most important god damn person in the world and it's their right to control it
RabidKangaroo15: So I reject it almost entirely
RabidKangaroo15: The society has produced a few good things, but they fall outside the purpose of the structure as well
RabidKangaroo15: Nintendo is hardly to be looked at as the enemy
RabidKangaroo15: They're just trying to make things a bit more enjoyable, and the lack of significance in video games can't be looked at as a source of malicec
RabidKangaroo15: malice
RabidKangaroo15: Anyway, this is just my view
RabidKangaroo15: There are good parts of society and bad parts
RabidKangaroo15: Unfortunately, it happens to be the self-obsessed type of megalomaniac that ends up running things
boss trombone: RabidKangaroo15: The reason the two story house, six figure job, fast car model of life seems meaningless, and the reason it seems so hard to find significant is because there's no real way to do so
boss trombone: Right, which is why I'm finding it hard to have a purpose in living, since i'm going to be making video games
boss trombone: this isn;'t helping society
boss trombone: this is making money
boss trombone: then dying
RabidKangaroo15: Well that's because unless you feel like dying right now, it's kind of necessary that you indulge the framework of society at least on a basic level
RabidKangaroo15: It's certainly unfortunate and there are systems of living that are better, but they don't happen to be the ones around anymore
RabidKangaroo15: So I go to work, but I don't give it any sort of respect, nor do I take it seriously
RabidKangaroo15: It's something I have to do
RabidKangaroo15: But given that you have to do it
RabidKangaroo15: You might as well get a job that plays off what you would be doing in the ideal world anyway
RabidKangaroo15: Say we're all a big happy worldwide family
RabidKangaroo15: People care about eachother, we all feel reasonably fulfilled and there's no oppressive power structure in place
RabidKangaroo15: Would you still have any opposition to making video games?
RabidKangaroo15: There's nothing wrong with that
RabidKangaroo15: I would likely be a writer or whatever its equivalent would be
RabidKangaroo15: If I was born a thousand years ago I would probably be making the cave paintings and attempting to further the worldview of the local tribes by writing
RabidKangaroo15: I apply this to the modern day as much as I can
RabidKangaroo15: The prospect of money is just a sort of side-effect of this because it happens to be the way we run things
RabidKangaroo15: It's little more than a meaningless number
boss trombone: I want to make games to make kids happy like I was and felt important when I beat games like orcarina. But then I feel sad that I'm not going to experience that again, or that any of this matters since when you're dead you're dead, and even if some sort of after life existed, it wouldn't matter
boss trombone: bah
boss trombone: anything you say just kinda
boss trombone: points out the obvious
boss trombone: I like what bh says
boss trombone: a spec
boss trombone: I want a divine meaning
RabidKangaroo15: Well keep in mind that our view of reality is exceedingly narrow
RabidKangaroo15: "Divine meaning" is an interesting way of describing it, but there is a profound truth to be found by dissolving the barriers of perception
RabidKangaroo15: By not allowing the brain to funcion as designed, a sort of cosmic truth emerges from it that is too strange and awe-inspiring to be described
RabidKangaroo15: Para-lingual, you could call it
RabidKangaroo15: As such, trying to explain it doesn't work
RabidKangaroo15: I could try, but it wouldn't result in anything
RabidKangaroo15: Or at least not anything at all useful
boss trombone: I don't see any more walls I could knowck down in my brain
boss trombone: I don't see what drugs are going to aid with
boss trombone: I feel on the same page as you
RabidKangaroo15: The wall of reality itself
RabidKangaroo15: Think of it this way:
RabidKangaroo15: Physically speaking, the universe is a mishmash of particles and waves
RabidKangaroo15: We interpret these as sound, light, but that's just our interpretation
RabidKangaroo15: All we have is sensory experience
RabidKangaroo15: When you break down the very wall of sensory experience, undescribable things start to happen
RabidKangaroo15: Which isn't a helpful description
RabidKangaroo15: But
RabidKangaroo15: It gives some basic concept of the unknown
boss trombone: Are you afraid of death?
RabidKangaroo15: Not particularly
RabidKangaroo15: Also brb
boss trombone: Don't you get sad in day to day life with igrnoant peers and family?
boss trombone: Don't you feel bad that they don't have the konwing you do?
boss trombone: WHERE ARE YOU
boss trombone: fuck I'm tired
boss trombone: plz respond to my questions in my aaway message and sign on tomorrow or soething

AND/OR, respond to it here. My peers are not ignorant nor is my family for the most part. Given the presence of misinformation I will do my best to correct it, hence the additional need of book knowledge to be able to do away with nonsense and thus improve the world in some small way. Perhaps large way if I ever write a book with a decent message to it. Either way, I try.