The Queen has no business meddling in our affairs, I humbly request that she stop waving the crown in our faces. Her supposed safety that the Atlantic grants her will be no defense against my general distaste. I have little tolerance for bangers and mash or spotted dick. I'll eat my bowl of cereal and pour milk into it, not tea. I'll not be having any of your scowling either, you can take your crooked teeth back to England in your Mini.

Needless to say, the world is burning. We'll all be buried in crumpets by 2010 the way things are going. There's no more sense of America left, all that remains is loyalty to a country that hasn't really owned us for over 200 years. All these conspiracy theories about the NAU making the constitution irrelevant are missing the point. Canada and Mexico joining with us isn't the problem, it's the fact that the Declaration of Independence becomes invalid as well. As soon as the borders are erased, the Royal Navy is going to sail right over here and set down the new set of laws and we'll all be singing "God Save The Queen" and buttering our scones before the US army can fight back. George Bush's greatest failure is not Iraq, it's the fact that he's handed us over to that limey brit Tony Blair and there's nothing we can do about it.

The fog is cleared, we need to see this for what it is. The poms are patient. They'll sit in their rocking chairs watching Blackadder and biding their time, relying on the "fact" that we won't call them out on this. They've waited two centuries to take back what they think of as their property, the New World belongs to them. The Revolutionary War was of little consequence, they just have to wait for us to become slovenly and placid, and the Americas are there for the taking. They'll have their own manifest destiny and we'll be the new Indians, sent to march down our own Trail of Tears.

Unless of course, we fight back.

Which we won't.

Because there's no reason to. What the fuck am I even talking about. I shouldn't write things at 2:00 in the morning, it makes me a terrible, useless idiot. This country sucks anyway.